


It's Dark Inside

by OwlKittyCatandBokuAka



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, Bokuto is sad, He says some mean stuff without meaning too, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 01:30:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlKittyCatandBokuAka/pseuds/OwlKittyCatandBokuAka
Summary: Akaashi says some things that he regrets and Bokuto, already depressed is pushed over the edge.Sorry for the horrible summary.... The graphic depictions of violence because of the self-harm. Don't know what I'm doing...





	It's Dark Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so sorry if it's bad. Also, this contains self-harm so please be careful. Sorry for any mistakes.

            He hated how the sun was shinning brightly down on him, how the sky was a bright blue, how the wind was gentle, but most of all he hated himself. He should be appreciating the weather, but he couldn’t. Only a feeling of being chocked was what he felt, only sadness.

            Bokuto Koutarou depressed… not the “emo mode” he got, though sometimes those were a way in trying to see if his still alive, but actually depressed. Sighing, he closed the curtains in his house. It was quiet, his parents were gone like normal leaving him alone. The silence was suffocating, slowly pulling away his inner light leaving him with a grayness. Slowly he walked to his bedroom, taking something from his drawer then went into the bathroom. Once there he rolled up his pants to reveal his thighs and pulled off his shirt. Carefully he can the silver blade across his skin.

            Blood poured from the inflicted wounds, red puddles on the ground and trickles of blood on his skin. _Stupid. Never enough. Too dramatic. A pain. Nobody could ever love him. Who was he kidding? He should die. End it already. It would be better for everyone else._ They were whispered into his ears and he believed them, really, he had no reason not to.

            Blankly he looked at the blood around him like some sort of morbid bath and let tears leak from his normal bright eyes that were dull. People said his were like his personality; bright, cheerful, gold (since they were gold), innocent, sharp, powerful, owl like. He sometimes wondered what they would say if they say him like this. Pathetic. He hated it, this feeling, this darkness, this _weakness_. Because that’s what he was. A weakness. A burden, something that people were forced to take care of. He was tired of being a burden, especially to Akaashi. Especially him. And he knew how much he did, the younger finely being pushed over the breaking point.

            He should just die. That’s what the other wanted. Right?

 

            Akaashi frowned, worriedly looking down at his phone. He had texted Bokuto a few minutes ago and hadn’t gotten a text back. If it was anyone else he wouldn’t be surprised, but it was Bokuto, the person whose longest time to text back was a minute (unless he was sulking). But now five minutes had passed and Akaashi’s phone was silent. An uneasy feeling turned in his stomach and he decided to go see the wild owly boy.

            Normal he wouldn’t go to the other boy’s house if he didn’t get a text back, but that was mostly because he knew what was going on. His parents were home, they were rather strict almost to the point of being cruel, or if he was sulking. But Akaashi knew that it was neither of these. His parents were on a trip and he know no reason for the older boy to be sulking. Though sometimes he sulked at the most random things, but he made it obvious that he was sulking.

            So the fact that he hadn’t made any apparent reason for sulking and seeming happy when the two had walked home together yet wasn’t texting back worried Akaashi. He hoped that he hadn’t gone too far when he had snapped at the older boy. It had been a long day and he had been tired, his patience already thin. Harsh words were thrown that were regretted as soon as they were spoken.

            _A flash of something dark; sadness, emptiness, through golden eyes. A slightly wobbling smile._

            Akaashi sighed. He had a feeling that he wouldn’t forget that look. Of course, he had apologized, feeling extremely guilty that he had said something so horrible and so far from the truth. Though, after that he wouldn’t blame Bokuto if he was sulking. But he had seemed like he was okay, he had made sure and said multiple apologizes, talking nonstop like normal.

           

_He had been running, not paying attention and thus he nearly run into a car. Bokuto had laughed, turning towards Akaashi who was desperately trying_ not _to groan. Wanting to go home._

_“Akkkkaaaaashi!!” He had wailed dramatically, causing Akaashi a headache. “I almost_ died _!”_

_“I wish you had.” The words had slipped out, a crushing silence following. His eyes had widened with horror at what he had said the other looking at him with wide eyes. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry Bokuto-san! I-I didn’t mean that.”_

 

            He winced at the memory, feeling like the worst human ever. It had been a heartless thing to say and he didn’t mean it all. The thought of a world without Bokuto was a terrifying one and he never wanted it to be a reality.

            Soon he found himself at Bokuto’s house. It was quiet, too quiet and all the blinds were closed. A feeling of uneasy flitted in his stomach as he knocked and got no answer. At first, he had thought that maybe he was at Kuroo’s, but it was rejected as soon as it was thought. Kuroo was on a date with Kenma, he knew this from Bokuto who kept laughing about how it was about time. That meant Bokuto was home and wasn’t answering the door.

            He knocked again, louder. Nothing. Hesitantly he tried the door. It was unlocked. He stepped inside the dark house feeling as if the walls were closing in on him.

            “Bokuto-san?” Akaashi called, but his voice was muffled in the quiet. “Bokuto-san?” He tried again louder.

            The house remand silent and Akaashi really started to panic. Even when Bokuto was sulking or mad he would at least acknowledge Akaashi. He began to search the house, only in the bathroom did he find his friend.

            Blood. Everywhere. And Bokuto was laying in it. Blinding terror chocked him on seeing the boy he had slowly, but surly fallen in love with laying in his own blood. Falling to his knees beside the other, he could feel a sob pushing its way out of throat. He quickly called 991, all the time looking Bokuto.

            “Bokuto-san.” He choked, grabbing the other’s hand.

            Dull eyes looked into his. “Akaashi.”

            More tears poured out. “Why? Why?”

            A sad smile. The flutter of weak eyelids trying to close. “It’s better this way. Better for you. I know I’m a burden.”

            “No, Bokuto-san,” the eyes were closing, “Koutarou,” the eyes opened, “you’ve never been a burden and it won’t be better. I-I love you. Please, don’t leave me.”

            “I love you, too.” But was sad and the normally loud voice was barely a whisper.

            The ambulance had come, taking the teen to the hospital. Akaashi refused to leave his side. It was close, but the Bokuto managed to survive. Of course, the demons that whispered in his ear stayed, but also did Akaashi.

_“_ _Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses._ _”_  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the horrible ending :P. I'm not good with endings.....


End file.
